GrimmUlqui Drabbles
by CrazyLoveChild
Summary: Drabble-ish mini-stories, ranging from K to M. Be warned of less than mediocre writing skills, un-betaness, and OCC-ness.
1. Hat, Truck, Penguin

Prompt – Hat

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its' character. If I did, I doubt I would write my own fan-fiction.

**Prompt – Hat**

Ulquiorra always has to remind Grimmjow to put a hat on the doorknob before they get at it, ever since the fateful day when Gin walked in on them unexpected.

But then again, it was Gin's idea for the hat on the doorknob anyway…

**Prompt – Truck**

Ulquiorra hates it when Grimmjow blows him when he's driving the truck. He almost loses the control, and once almost crashed into a little old lady.

Grimmjow, of course, decided to leer at her while Ulquiorra tried to apologize for their 'mis-conduct', Ulquiorra of course had to apologize for Grimmjow.

Because, in Grimmjow's eyes, he never did anything wrong.

Luckily, she didn't report them, because she was perverted, like the many fan-fiction writers out there…

**Prompt – Penguin**

Unknowingly, Ulquiorra smiles at the cuteness of the baby emperor penguins at the Zoo, with Grimmjow holding his hand.

Grimmjow, not wanting to spoil the moment, just grins along with him. Ulquiorra barely shows emotion, if not ever,

But when he does, it's like a diamond in the rough for Grimmjow. No matter if he is angry or sad.

Grimmjow makes a mental note as to buy a little Penguin plush for him at the end of the day, just to see if he would make the rare smile again.

And to tease him. Just a bit.


	2. Goat, Aizen, 10

Prompt – Hat

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its' character. If I did, I doubt I would write my own fan-fiction.

**Prompt – Goat**

Ulquiorra sometimes compares Grimmjow with a goat, with his brute strength, impulsiveness, and hard head...

Wait….hard head…

Ulquiorra mentally shakes his head (since he is above doing it physically). He really need to stop hanging around Nnoitra.

Or Aizen for that matter.

**Prompt – Aizen**

Grimmjow always wondered if Ulquiorra was with Aizen before they got together, until Ulquiorra himself killed the bastard.

Then, to add a safety bonus to the confirmation, Ulquiorra kept him up all night. Just to make sure that the assumption was destroyed to its entirety.

**Prompt – 10**

Grimmjow carefully walked up the stair to their room, trying not to make too much noise. Usually, he wasn't this considerate, usually pouncing on his lover first thing in the morning, before he went to work. But today was very special. Very special indeed.

So special, in fact, that Grimmjow decided to take the day off and be the sappy romantic, like the ones in the chick-flicks Halibel sometimes forces him and Ulquiorra to watch with her.

Which is sort of often, from the amount of times she and Nnoitra tend to fight.

And of course, since Grimmjow and Ulquiorra are gay, it is naturally assumed that they, themselves, would like the crap (actually, to this day, Grimmjow swears that he saw Ulquiorra cry during one).

But back to the sappy topic at hand.

Carefully, he opened the door to the bedroom, creeping in silently next to the bed. Placing the food tray full of eggs, bacon, and pancakes (made by yours truly), down on the bedside table, he gently shook Ulquiorra up, while whispering sweet nothings in the sleeping form's ears.

"Happy 10th Anniversary."


	3. Smile, Dessert, Cheerleader

Prompt – Hat

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its' character. If I did, I doubt I would write my own fan-fiction.

**Prompt – Smile**

When they lay there, spent, panting, and sore, Grimmjow nuzzled his head in the crook of Ulquiorra's neck. The soft blue hair tickled Ulquiorra's shoulder, and he smiled slightly, a smile so small, if you did not watch him, you would miss it. Grimmjow kissed his cheek in a smug-fashion.

"Told ya' I could make you smile..."

And in response, Ulquiorra's face broke out into a very seldom, extremely un-characteristic grin.

A grin that Grimmjow took in and savoured.

**Prompt – Dessert (The Sweet Kind)**

Ulquiorra looked shyly across the booth at Grimmjow. They were both sharing an ice-cream sundae in a somewhat empty parlour. It had a 50's design to it, portrayed in the interior and the desserts themselves, with the red and white paint, old 50's music playing off of the Juke-Box, and the pictures of old-fashioned cars on the walls.

Grimmjow stared intensely into Ulquiorra's green eyes, while slowly lowering his spoon into the sundae, taking a scoop. Then, while still looking in the striking emeralds, he slowly brought up the spoon towards Ulquiorra's mouth.

Based on instinct, Ulquiorra opened his mouth, and Grimmjow pushed the spoon-full of ice-cream in.

"Taste alright?"

Ulquiorra nodded, lost for words as the chocolate flavour exploded in his mouth. Suddenly, he got an idea.

A very good idea.

He leaned toward Grimmjow, making his voice in a husky whisper.

"But you know what would taste even better?"

Grimmjow's blue eyes began to get clouded with lust.

"What?" he asked, in a rough, sexy, bedroom voice.

"It would taste better with cherries."

**Prompt – Cheerleader**

Ulquiorra looked in disbelief as he looked at the 8-foot mirror in the restroom of his and Grimmjow's quarters. It was a pure mistake as to get the T.V for Grimmjow, who now was obsessed with American Football. But, what Grimmjow was more obsessed with, was the cheerleading outfits.

The almost-nothing skirts, with the almost-nothing top, as soon as he saw those outfits he dreamt of Ulquiorra dressing up for him.

But with a kinky-sex idea, there was always the responsibility of finding a way as to persuade Ulquiorra into actually doing it. He couldn't just simply trick him. No, that would not do.

So he went with a simple approach. _Asking_ him. Ulquiorra, not knowing what a cheerleader was, went for it. A very impulsive, un-Ulquiorra-like move.

Usually, Ulquiorra did the research needed when confronted with something he didn't know.

In front of the mirror, Ulquiorra sized himself up and almost blushed. Almost.

The skirt was riding up his lack of hips, causing him to unconsciously tugging the skirt down.

And the top wasn't helping either. The belly top was almost too big, as it was designed for a woman's chest, not a man's.

But sure, he could guess why Grimmjow wanted him to wear this. It looked sexy, to say the least. But he just couldn't understand why he just HAD to wear the panties that went with it.

Along with the skirt and belly-top, Grimmjow just had to add more to his humiliation by making Ulquiorra wear the panties that went with it.

Slowly, Ulquiorra took a deep breath to stop his over-riding senses, and opened the door to the bedroom. This had better be worth it.

There sat a smirking Grimmjow on the king-sized bed. He noticed that Ulquiorra looked uncomfortable, so, taking a very small amount of pity on him, he decided to make it worth-while to Ulquiorra.

As he beckoned Ulquiorra, he stared as his little cheerleader's hips swayed slightly, making the blue and white skirt go up higher. Oh yes, he was definitely going to make this worth it.


	4. Burger King, PotatoeCat, Renji

Prompt – Hat

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its' character. If I did, I doubt I would write my own fan-fiction.

**Prompt – Burger King**

"Grimmjow, why are we here, surrounded by this trash?"

Grimmjow just smiled, still tugging on Ulquiorra's hand and leading him into the 'Burger King' Fast-Food restaurant.

With Hueco Mundo gone, and a full pardon from Soul Society for their loyalty in the war, living on Earth was a breeze. Full of new, exciting things. For Grimmjow, anyway.

For Ulquiorra, it almost made him want to puke. But he was too dignified for that.

So, because of all the negativity in their shared apartment, Grimmjow came to the conclusion that Ulquiorra just HAD to try some of its' many fattening splendours. The guy should gain a few pounds anyway.

"Just have one bite of this. If you don't like it, then we'll leave. But if you do, then I'll bring it home and ravish you until you pass out." Grimmjow whispered into the other Espada's ear.

In all honesty, it was a win-win situation for Grimmjow, while it was a lose-lose situation for Ulquiorra.

Grimmjow - he likes the food, and likes Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra - has no clue if he likes the food, and desperately wanting to be ravished, might have to resort to sneaky trash human tactics and lie to get what he wants.

After paying the human for the calorie-filled-goodness, Grimmjow lead Ulquiorra to a small booth and shoved the burger to his face. "One bite, that's all I'm asking." Ulquiorra hesitantly took the burger from Grimmjow, and slowly opened his mouth.

Later that night, Ulquiorra moaned deliciously right into Grimmjow's ear. Grimmjow grinned and moved faster, making the moans louder and breathier, until a final shout from both lovers signalled completion.

"Glad you took the bite, huh?"

**Prompt – Potatoe-Cat **

Grimmjow cursed Gin under his very breath. Why the hell did that freaky fox-guy have Syazel make a de-aging potion, and spike Ulquiorra's food with it? DAMN IT!

Now Ulquiorra was a 5 year old Arrancar, with the qualities of a 5 year old human. The little thing was annoying, whiney, and demanding. And to make things worse, it decided to attach itself to Grimmjow, clinging to him and following him non-stop.

Grimmjow wanted the other whiney emo bitch back.

Grimmjow paused his inside-mind ranting as something tugged on his zanpaktou. He looked down, to see big green eyes staring up back at him.

"G'immwoah. I has made a picture fow you." The baby-Ulquiorra shoved a piece of paper up into Grimmjow's hands.

Confused, Grimmjow stared at it.

On the piece of paper there was a brown, lumpy oval with a bunch of black dots on it standing on four stick legs and ridiculously-small cat ears.

"Kid, what the hell it this piece of crap?" Grimmjow asked angrily. But then he immediately regretted it, as the baby-Ulquiorra began to tear up, and walking away slowly sniffling.

"He...he does (hiccup) ...doesn...wike(hiccup)...wike it!" the baby-Ulquiorra exclaimed. As soon as he finished his little mispronounced sentence, he fell to the ground and began bawling.

Grimmjow, not wanting to get unnecessary attention, quickly ran over to the boy and picked him up. Holding him close to his chest, he began to correct himself.

"I didn't mean that. I was just wondering what it was. Can you explain it to me?"

The baby-Ulquiorra looked up, still sniffling, and said, "It's a potwatoe cat."

Grimmjow hastily clamped his mouth shut, as to not make the child cry again with the comments that were desperately trying to escape his vocal chords. He gagged.

This was soo not good for his health. Being so nice and caring.

"It's a very nice potatoe cat, Ulquiorra. I like it very much."

Grimmjow winced at these words, but a funny, warm feeling came over him when the baby-Ulquiorra looked up at him and smiled widely.

Grimmjow caught himself wanting to give the toddler a hug and a kiss on the forehead, when Ulquiorra then sneezed in his face and began to try to climb through Grimmjow's hollow hole.

**Prompt – Renji**

Poor Renji.

His usually care-free mind was clouded. His feelings for his Taichou were growing stronger everyday, like him. He was in love with a man he could never love back, or so he thought.

'Maybe a gift? No, Kuchiki-Taichou is rich and noble. He can have as many gifts as he wants. A card, perhaps? No. That just won't work...' Renji thought, as he walked aimlessly around Karakura Town.

But he stopped suddenly, when he heard a deep moaning sound from a darkened alley. His right hand settling steady on the hilt of Zabimaru, he slowly stayed in the shadows and walked into the alley.

But what he saw there was a sight that turned him on so much, that he went back to Soul Society right away, ran to Kuchiki-Tachiou's office, and kissed him with all the love he could muster.

Later that night, he and Byakuya had glorious fan-girl, drool-worthy sex. But the point of this drabble is how that happened. So, to merely get to the point, he had walked in on this scene...

-Back At The Alley-

"Uuh..." Ulquiorra moaned quietly, as Grimmjow went faster and faster. Grimmjow smirked, and bit Ulquiorra's shoulder.

"You think he saw us?"


	5. Fish, Ichigo, 7

Prompt – Hat

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its' character. If I did, I doubt I would write my own fan-fiction.

**Prompt – Fish**

Ulquiorra had no weaknesses. At all. Or so Grimmjow thought. Being the seme of the couple, Grimmjow thought it would be right to make dinner for their anniversary. Because the seme is always romantic, right? Of course. Grimmjow put forth the menu, got the ingredients, the recipes, and began to cook that night's romantic meal.

After everything was prepared, Grimmjow set the table, placed candles on the dining table and in their bedroom (because he knew he was going to get some tonight), He got out the good wine and turned on some music. Then he went off to find Ulquiorra, who was conveniently out shopping.

Blindfolded, Ulquiorra felt himself being lead into their apartment. Smiling, he smelt the candles and heard the music, calmness (and a blush) washing over him. It was so cute.

Normally, no one would think Grimmjow would be a die-hard romantic, which made Ulquiorra feel special, because Grimmjow was only like this with the him. He felt a chair nudging the back of his knees, and sat down.

The blindfold was tugged carefully from his eyes, and the first thing he saw was fish. Salmon to be exact. Suddenly, Ulquiorra began to worry.

You see, the dreaded thing on his plate, (no, not the salad), was his weakness. For some, unknown reason, when Ulquiorra ate fish, he began to get incredibly horny. He liked to call this an allergy, but he couldn't just mention it now, when Grimmjow went to all the trouble for him. So, he began to eat.

Grimmjow was wondering if something was wrong. Did he not cook the fish right? He followed the instructions, and his tasted fine. The conversation they were having was same as always, so why was Ulquiorra so twitchy?

When they finished, Grimmjow, being the gentlemen he was, cleared the table, candles and all. He was just about to turn the music off, when BAM! He was pressed down on the table, a second pair of hands travelling everywhere on his body. Grimmjow looked up, and saw a lust so great in Ulquiorra's eyes, that he shivered.

"..huh?" was all Grimmjow could ask, still in shock from the sudden bluntness. Ulquiorra smirked sexily as he leaned down to Grimmjow's right ear, and whispered, as if he was telling a deep secret.

"Fish makes me horny..."

Grimmjow immediately smirked, thinking that tonight will be a good night.

And that it was a good thing that he liked fish too…

**Prompt – Ichigo**

A fetish of Ulquiorra's were strawberries. Imagining the whipped cream that went with it...he'd get shivers down his spine. But, that caused a problem because of a certain someone's name...

"Hey, Ulquiorra! I called up Ichigo, and he said he'd love to have a threesome! He's coming over right now!"

"Great Grimmjow. Let me just get the whipped cream..."

**Prompt – 7**

Ulquiorra wondered how many positions he and Grimmjow had tried over the whole time they began being lovers.

He came up with 6.

Hey, isn't 7 a lucky number?

Ulquiorra quickly researched the net, finding a new one that they hadn't tried.

Smirking, Ulquiorra went off to find Grimmjow...


	6. Clock, Bath, Mirror

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach and/or its' characters

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach and/or its' characters. If I did, I doubt I would write my own fan-fiction.

Author's Notes: I'd like to thank Hearii and Teenager for reviewing, it really boosted up my moral! And thank you to who added my story to their 'Watch List'. These prompts were from Hearii. 3

:D

**Prompt ****– Clock**

Time. It's constantly ticking away. Always in the situations when you want it to hurry, and the others when you want it to stand still.

This was the latter.

Grimmjow didn't want time to move on. He wanted it to stand still.

He couldn't, and probably wouldn't, be able to bear the next three to five minutes of his long life. A life that was soon to be lonely, and dark. An endless void, if you will.

A life without Ulquiorra.

"Wake up your fucking bastard!" screamed the hysterical Grimmjow, as he violently shook Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra wasn't moving. At all. Since that retard Yammi stabbed him through the gut. That coward did it behind Ulquiorra's back; such a cowardly way to fight.

Ulquiorra's figure was growing weaker, become transparent, disintegrating into the sand. His soul becoming cleansed, and being sent to Soul Society. Where all of this shit had started.

If Aizen wasn't dead already, Grimmjow would have ripped him apart, limb from limb. With a brutal force so great, that Tousen would have been able to see it. For once he was grateful of that

If Ulquiorra was going to Soul Society, then you can be sure that Grimmjow was too. He was going to go there and find him.

Would he remember Grimmjow? And all of the times they shared, even if they were so little of emotion?

Grimmjow fucking hoped so as he withdrew Pantera.

**Prompt - ****Bath**

Ulquiorra sighed. Was it not hard to ask for a moment of piece and quiet?

But, then again, he did agree with Grimmjow that he would move in with him. Though, like everything in life, it came with a price.

The price that involved losing privacy, respect, and quiet. Not that he had the precious non-living items in Hueco Mundo anyway. Whatever possessed him to tell Grimmjow he accepted his offer, he would never know.

Oh, wait. He was homeless. Now he remembers.

After the war the remaining Espada were sent out of Hueco Mundo, and forbidden in Soul Society. It was actually well though up, the 'program' the 'survivors' were put in. It was like being on parole, all being placed in Karakura Town, having monthly checks with Urahara. Even though the only Espada left were Grimmjow, Nnoitra, and Ulquiorra.

But back to why Ulquiorra is letting up his emotionless-façade to let a sigh fall from his lips.

Grimmjow was the dreaded cause. He made their apartment stink. Terribly.

Because he was afraid of water, that damn inner-feline in him just didn't want to take a bath. Which is why Ulquiorra tied him up, threw him in a strawberry bubble-bath, and closed the door. With a profanity-screaming Grimmjow behind, soaking in the tub.

At least the apartment smelled better.

**Prompt ****– Mirror**

Grimmjow couldn't believe his eyes. He was in the wild, deep in Las Noches. He was creeping around with a stolen video camera from Syazel. Because Grimmjow had a mission, to observe Ulquiorra in his natural habitat. And Grimmjow had caught something worth a million times it's weight in gold.

It was a recording of Ulquiorra 'enhancing' his tear-line marks on his face, with Halibel's make-up, in his bathroom mirror.

Yes, Grimmjow found it hilarious also.

Especially when Ulquiorra poked himself in the eye.


	7. Plastic, Photo Frames, Gauge Earring

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor ever will

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor ever will. If I did, it would be full of multiple yaoi

pairings. :D

Author's Note: I, again, would like to thank Teenager and Hearii; Teenager for the next 3

prompts, Hearii for advice she has given to me on writing (keeping the

characters not too much AU/OOC), and both for the moral support!

gives cookies Also, I can NOT forget Ribbonrebel131 for reviewing 3

**Prompt – Plastic**

"Ulquiorra…I can't open this. Or break it! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MADE OF?" screamed Grimmjow.

Ulquiorra walked up behind Grimmjow, turned him around, and grabbed the Tupperware container out of his hands.

"Grimmjow, I should have known your simple mind wouldn't be able to figure out," said Ulquiorra as he calmly took off the lid.

Grimmjow, insulted by Ulquiorra, and pride hurt by the container, grabbed back the bowl of kitty treats and walked back grumbling to his room.

**Prompt - Photo Frames**

Halibel passively walked up to the newlyweds and gave them their gift from her and Nnoitra.

"This is for you, from us," she said, as she rested her hand on her 7-month pregnant belly. Nnoitra, grinning behind her, hastily mentioned before he was pulled away, "You might want to open these in private."

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra took the present, confused, and put it in their car for later.

Later, before they 'celebrated' their new marriage, Ulquiorra vaguely remembered the present as Grimmjow rubbed up against him.

Laughing when Ulquiorra picked up the present, Grimmjow whispered huskily in Ulquiorra's ear with, "Do you think it's something kinky?"

When Ulquiorra finally pried enough away from Grimmjow and opened the present, he almost dropped it on the floor.

It was two picture frames. One of when they fell asleep on each other, both with content smile, on the couch.

The other, was one extremely hot picture of them in bed…

One with an obvious Ulquiorra moaning on his back to oblivion, with a Grimmjow whose face was full of intense, but pleasurable, concentration.

Needless to say, the couple showed never showed the second picture to their parents.

**Prompt -** **Gauge Earring**

"Grimmjow, what is wrong with your ear?"

"Ah, Ulquiorra, are you surprised? That is Grimmjow's 'gauge earring'."

"And what is that?" asked Ulquiorra expressionlessly.

Gin smiled his every-day smile, and replied with a simultaneous giggle while walking away. Then, over his shoulder, he said "Why don't you shove a pencil through it and see what happens?"

Grimmjow slowly walked away. If something involved something bad happening to him, Ulquiorra would probably do it.

So while Ulquiorra contemplated Gin's suggestion, Grimmjow ran away, covering his

spacer in his left ear, before Ulquiorra could shove a pencil through it.


	8. Ice Cream, Paper, Dildo

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor its' characters

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor its' characters. I just want to put them into

compromising positions.

Author's Notes: The first prompt is from Teenager, and after that the rest are

Ribbonrebel131's. Thanks again to Hearii, Ribbonrebel131,

Teenager, and KaruKyan for reviewing. 3

**Prompt – Ice Cream**

"Grimmjow, _dah_-ling, do you have the crème du brulée I asked for? I need those ten orders, chop-chop!" said Mrs. Schiffer said, as she enunciated the 'chop-chop' with her fan banging against the corner.

Though Grimmjow loved cooking to no end, it was a difficult job when dealing with the anim-_customers_. But he needed the business. Especially if he wanted to be a successful chef!

He handed the caramel ice-cream cake, with the butterscotch scones and tea biscuits to the annoying lady.

"Oh, _dah_-ling, and could you hire my son, while your at it? He needs to spend time away from the house, my dreaded darling seems to need the fresh air. You wouldn't even need to pay him, just keep him busy!"

"Mrs. Schiffer, I don't think I have enough spare time to-"

"You will? Oh, THANK-you for your generosity! I shall drop him off tomorrow in the morning! Ta-ta, _dah_-ling!"

Grimmjow, bewildered, watched as one of his richest, and most frequent, customers walk out the door. That woman was the most annoying person in the world. He could not imagine what her son goes through every day. With her butchering the French language and their dessert names, or her dreadful accented '_dah_-ling'.

No wonder the boy never left the house.

Grimmjow would just have to see the boy when he gets here tomorrow morning.

Grimmjow gaped as Mrs.Schiffer's son walked through the front door. Drop-dead gorgeous, tousled black hair, and striking green eyes to match a pale figure.

Grimmjow licked his lips, and couldn't wait to show him around.

**Prompt - Paper**

Ulquiorra tried to contain his sanity, as his was being tested more then regularly on a Saturday afternoon.

Who ever taught Grimmjow to make paper airplanes deserved to die and extremely painful death by the Fourth Espada's Cero.

End of story. Done.

The wretched Number 6 has been making them for the past two hours. And throwing them constantly.

That was, until Ulquiorra sent a well-aimed Cero to fry the little nuisance up. The paper airplane, not Grimmjow (unfortunately).

Then Grimmjow began to make news-paper hats and placing them on every object in Las Noches.

**Prompt – Dildo**

Grimmjow had recently made a trip to the Human World, thankfully unnoticed. It would be too much embarrassing and bothersome if he was caught at the ADULT XXX shop.

But hey, he needed to pick up some ahem, _supplies_. Especially since tonight was Ulquiorra's 300th birthday.

But when Ulquiorra got his present and opened it up (it was his only one, because no one in Las Noches cared about birthdays), he looked at it in an emotionless, but curious, way.

"Grimmjow….what the hell is this?"

Grimmjow smirked and whispered the answer in Ulquiorra's ear.

Despite being one of the top at the food chain, Ulquiorra did not know a lot about human culture in general, so he just decided to do what was best.

Throw it in the trash can.

Grimmjow, feeling his pride go out the window, hastily grabbed it back and then explained what it does and what it will do (it had a built-in vibrator).

Then, completely off-guard, Grimmjow found himself staring at a very naked 4th Espada with the closest thing to a 'come-hither' look.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

Grimmjow quickly grabbed his pride, stuffed it in his pants, and made towards the bed.


	9. Kitty, Pencil, Feet

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor its' characters. I just want to put them into _**very**_ compromising positions.

Author's Notes: Thanks to Ribbonrebel131 for these prompts. Thanks again to Hearii, Ribbonrebel131, Teenager, and KaruKyan for reviewing. 3

**Prompt - Kitty **

Grimmjow paced furiously around the room, while his pride, manliness, and ego clawed at the walls, begging for mercy, begging for the treacherous torture to stop.

Recently finding the internet, Grimmjow found a decent anime show to watch. The show being called _Bleach_.

Where he found the story of thier lives plastered on for the whole world to see.

And, he also found, numerous fan-fiction stories of himself. And pictures, and Live Journals, and Deviant Artists and their art that consistently revolved around one, simple, plain fact about him.

They made fun of his release form, Pantera.

No, he didn't mind the numerous, and sometimes disgusting, pairings, or the _very _erotic fan-art (though even if they did him justice, he was actually quite bigger than they assumed).

Nay, my friends, nay. He did not care.

At the beginning, he didn't mind the jokes about his release form. Some of them were actually quite true, and made him laugh along. For example, he actually did love yarn, and cat-nip made him want to hump the nearest thing (but, to his luck, Ulquiorra was always there and he humped the Fourth Espada's leg in abandon).

But the last straw was when Nnoitra put down a saucer of milk while clicking his tongue and saying, "Here, kitty kitty kitty."

**Prompt - Pencil **

"FUCK YOU!" yelled a furious Grimmjow, and something hit the back of Ulquiorra's Hollow Mask.

Confused, Ulquiorra picked up the pencil sharpener off of the ground, which had a wedged-in piece of pencil lead at the top.

Looking back at Grimmjow, he saw Grimmjow fuming in his seat with an un-sharpened pencil in his left hand, and his lines that Aizen gave him on the desk. Ulquiorra looked from the sharpener to Grimmjow, and then threw it back at him.

**Prompt – Feet**

Many people were scared of something, snakes, spiders, heights, the dark, jus to name a select few. But, it was usually the most evil, most emotionless people top be scared of something completely out of character from them, a fear so silly, it hurt to even think about it without laughing.

Ulquiorra Schiffer had podophobia, or yet better known as the fear of feet.

He couldn't bear anyone to touch them, including himself, he had to wear his socks to bed, and hated to talk about feet. But luckily, no one knew. If they did, it would be his down-fall, since it is, clearly, a weakness, not and asset, to him.

Which is why he tended to lock his door at night, when going to bed.

He usually had numerous nightmares that caused him to break out sweating, making his heart beat extremely fast, and difficulty in breathing.

This fear was nothing to be joked about, most defiantly not. If it were, then hell. He'd probably commit suicide.

Which, all of this, explained why Ulquiorra flipped out when Grimmjow began to play 'footsie' with him underneath the meeting table.


	10. Gothic Lolita, Bicycle, Box

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, My parents would probably not allow me to watch it…

Author's Note: I'd like to thank the reviewers Hearii, Ribbionrebel31, Teenager, KaruKyan, and freakypetachick. You guys give me the support (and the prompts), go on doing this. gives out cookies These up-coming prompts are from KaruKyan (don't worry Kai, I'll get to yours after camp ;D) And I shall also get to yours, freakypetachick! :D Also, these two updates is a sort-of 'Goodbye' present until I get back

Sorry for the much swearing in this addition ;.

**Prompt - Gothic Lolita **

Ulquiorra's blood was rushing through him at an alarming rate; right now, he absolutely hated his boyfriend. Just because it was fucking Halloween, it didn't mean he had to dress up.

But no, Grimmjow just had to ask him during the throes of passion, which wasn't quite fair because he would have done or said _anything_ there just so he could blow off his load.

Grimmjow was too smart for his own good. He was going to get a well deserved spank-, ahem, _punishment_, when the night was done. Oh yes, Ulquiorra could feel excitement tingling through him, ideas of what he would do to Grimmjow when they were through with this ngithmare. But first, he needed to get this night over quickly. And he had the perfect idea, to make Grimmjow's plan backfire.

Grimmjow's request (the one during the throes of passion), was for Ulquiorra to dress up, in a very scandalous, slutty, and suggestive costume. The costume was an extremely sexy Gothic Lolita costume.

The dress was thigh-high, with various shades of black and dark purple. It had a black corset which gave him the closest thing to a woman's curves, and had a purple ribbon lacing up the front. The chest part of the chest was extremely tight, but bottom half was extremely open and 'poofed-out', for lack of better words. To top of the outfit, he wore a frilly hair-piece that served as a headband and had huge mound of lace at the ends, which were just above his ears.

So, when Ulquiorra walked right though into the main hall of Las Noches (where the Halloween party was being held), he walked slightly closer to Grimmjow, daring anyone to come and touch him.

Grimmjow, being the extremely cocky bastard he is, decided to smirk at Aizen as he was drooling at Ulquiorra's ass as the Fourth Espada bent over. Ulquiorra was his bitch, no one else's.

Which, to just enforce that statement, Grimmjow spanked him. Loudly.

And Ulquiorra thought Grimmjow was the only one getting that tonight…

**Prompt – Bicycle**

Grimmjow was one to never back down from a challenge, which included dares. To Ulquiorra, this was lethal information. Even if it was well known, no one took advantage of that fact. The reason for that was every challenge given Grimmjow, he grabbed it by the throat and beat it to death. Instead of bringing him down with an almost impossible dare, Grimmjow succeeded and blew up his ego even more.

Which is why Ulquiorra thought long and hard to bring that bastard down. And thought of a good one. So good, that Grimmjow would fail.

And so far, it was working. At an extremely fast rate.

"Fucking bike!"

Ulquiorra watched as Grimmjow threw the bicycle across the meeting hall.

"Fuck you, Ulquiorra!" yelled Grimmjow as he watched Ulquiorra smile a very little, very rare, smile. "I bet even you can't even do it without falling on your oh-so-fucking-precious ass!"

Ulquiorra calmly walked over the bike, put it up-right and got on. Slowly, but surely, Ulquiorra put both feet into the pedal straps and sure enough he began to pedal around and around the meeting table.

Ulquiorra, lost in his somewhat giddy feeling with riding the bike, didn't see Grimmjow walk away grumbling about how much of an asshole the Fourth Espada was.

**Prompt – Box**

That retarded, idiotic Grimmjow. He was completely out of mind, full of false power and ambition, when he threw the Caja Negación into Ulquiorra's hollow hole like that, trapping him in this three-dimensional box, spirling through dimensions.

Ulquiorra tried to Cero his way out of it again, failing miserably for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

When he gets out of this box, Grimmjow will have no idea for what is coming to him, how much he will _suffer_. The Fourth Espada shall punish Grimmjow in such a way, that he will be _begging_ for death, _begging_ Ulquiorra to kill him.

And Ulquiorra won't let him off easy. When Grimmjow begins to beg, Ulquiorra would have just begun his reign of terror.


	11. Maths, Karaoke, Pillow, Threesome

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, My parents would probably not allow me to watch it…

Author's Note: Auughhh, it's good to be back! Thanks to Kai for the following 4 prompts; love you for it! I'll get to Diamond In The Rough in a few; have to watch the movie again ; wanna keep it as accurate as I can .

whew Lots of requests! I'll try to do my best and keep up! ; sorry for the slowness

**Prompt - Maths **

Grimmjow was just about to throw his damn math book across the room; stupid Gin and his stupid school assignments. Why the hell did Grimmjow have to get the only teacher who loved math as much as Grimmjow loved sex?

And it wasn't easy assignments he gave out, nooo.

The assignments always included at least 4 different units of math that linked together in one problem, forcing you to go step-by-step even if you know the answer.

Grimmjow, though it doesn't seem like it, is pretty smart. He just didn't like to apply it to his everyday life-style. He simply didn't like putting extra effort into taking it slow to explain every detail or writing out every step.

Well, he did like taking it slow to explain Ulquiorra's _**full**_ surface area…

**Prompt – Karaoke**

Grimmjow snickered as he pulled out his video camera. Getting Ulquiorra drunk is the funniest shit ever.

How he accomplished that, no one would ever know…but it is the only excuse Ulquiorra was able to give when his going-to-be-ex-boyfriend played the video of the Fourth Espada belting out the lines of 'The Bad Touch' by The Bloodhound Gang while doing it's accompanying dance at the weekly Espada meeting.

**Prompt – Pillow**

Grimmjow lay there, basking in the afterglow of the past hour of 'rigorous physical activity' with Ulquiorra. Though many would not dare say this out loud, many including Grimmjow, he secretly thought of how comfortable Ulquiorra was; how comfortable the Fourth Espada's shoulder was as he snored quietly.

He was like Grimmjow's personal pillow.

**Prompt – Threesome**

Ulquiorra paused after his and Grimmjow's heated discussion of having threesomes. No matter how you looked at it, one person was either the bottom of it all, the top of it all, or the squished one. And there was always one who was left out more than the others.

Ulquiorra could just not explain to anything to Grimmjow, who was stubborn and said that he didn't understand what Ulquiorra was talking about.

So Ulquiorra pulled out the sketch pad and pencils…he would have to do this Kuchiki's way…


	12. Bottle, Maid, Coffee, Rainbows

Bottle

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, My parents would probably not allow me to watch it…

Author's Note: Well, tryin' to catch up on the prompts; 4 in this one, then probably 5 in the other one, it all really depends on how long it goes.

Like to thank Kai and freakypetachick for the next few prompts; Kai's the first one, the rest are peta's. Also, thanks for the reviews (it's 3 in the morning, so I'm a tad too lazy to say everyone who reviewed.. Sorry D)! Makes it all worthwhile!

Also, deepest apologies to KaruKyan, whom I brutally misspelled their name into oblivion .

**Prompt – Bottle**

Whatever prompted Ulquiorra to play Gin's newly-found human game 'Spin-the-Bottle', the Fourth Espada would never know. All he knew at the moment was that he had just spun it and it (to his dismay), landed on Grimmjow.

They sat across each other, eyes locked in what seemed to be an intense staring contest. But, it was a battle for dominance.

Who would break first and cross over to the other? Ulquiorra was sure he was winning when Aizen interrupted.

"Ulquiorra, go over and kiss Grimmjow. You must follow the rules of the game, regardless of gender or personal feuds."

Begrudgingly, Ulquiorra began to cross over the now smug Grimmjow. But, getting an idea, he decided to make this a little more interesting.

On his hands and knees, Ulquiorra crossed sexily across the gaming area toward Grimmjow, with a lusty look in his eyes. Grimmjow's jaw dropped, and that was when Ulquiorra pounced.

Five minutes later, they were still intensely making out while the rest of the Espada resumed the game, coming to the conclusion that separating those two would probably result into some injury.

**Prompt - Maid **

Ulquiorra looked at the computer screen disgustingly. He had recently found a site called 'devientART' which had multiple picture of him, most being degrading and humiliating.

But one was worse than all of that combined.

Some _mere human girl _decided to draw him in a maid's outfit, complete with a feather-duster.

What added insult to injury was when Grimmjow bought him that exact outfit to wear to the 'Hollow'-een Party.

**Prompts – Coffee + Rainbows**

Grimmjow wanted to cry. No, he was crying. Everyone was, even Tousen.

Someone had the great idea to give Ulquiorra coffee, as he had been drained from energy lately, namely his energy being eaten-up by certain 'nightly-performances' with a certain Arrancar (no, not Nnoitra).

Grimmjow felt like he was in the human movie 'Frankenstein', wanting to scream out "We've created a monster!", because that was exactly what happened.

Ulquiorra was darting from place to place, dancing with Orihime in the hallways, and giving everything with two legs hugs.

And what was worse was that he tried to give Grimmjow a saucer of milk and rub his belly. Grimmjow, thinking that sex with Ulquiorra in this state would be too damn scary, hastily pushed him away, screaming while asking "Why the hell are you acting like a rainbow is coming out of your ass?!"

As you can tell, none of the Espada would like to comment on that question, or the question of who gave Ulquiorra coffee in the first place, though most signs point to Gin.

**Prompt – Plushies**

Gin, having walked in on Grimmjow and Ulquiorra in a very intimate moment, decided to re-enact it at the meeting. Physically.

But it is not the 'physically' as in person on person, no. He was not that low.

Instead, he went to the Quincy with blue-prints for two plushies; and Ulquiorra on and a Grimmjow one.

Using the plushies in his explanation, Grimmjow sunk deeper into his chair while Ulquiorra wondered if he could use his residue to cause himself and the plushies to explode at the same time.


	13. Squishy, StraightJacket, Hot Pink

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, it probably would only be out in video, not on T.V, for obvious reasons.

Author's Note: Thanks again to all reviewers, I luvs you all uber much 3. These following three are from KaruKyan! D

I have to say that this chapter is dedicated to the AMAZING author 'The Indigo Schemer', who sent me a hilariously-awesome review (go read So Cold, if you haven't already. It's to die for! ) 33

**Prompt – Squishy**

Something was dreadfully wrong. But, as all dreadfully wrong happenings in the much feared Hueco Mundo usually are, were strangely hilarious or satisfying, or both.

Gin, unfortunately, had forced all of the Espada (with Aizen and Tousen in tow) to sit down and watch Finding Nemo with the overly-happy ex-captain. And, with the 9th Espada's dismay, Gin created an abnormal fixation with anything 'squishy', which included the shape-shifter's release form.

"But Aaroniero, you are my squishy!" whined Gin while chasing the scared elite hollow, ignoring Grimmjow and Ulquiorra heavily making out in the corner.

Gin, even though one could not distinguish as to how someone would use peripheral vision through eyes so closely squinted, noticed the couple.

Grimmjow, who was currently occupied with pressing every inch of Ulquiorra against the wall, suddenly yelped while clutching his now-molested ass.

Gin stared, his hand still in the 'squeeze' position, and said really loudly, "…squishy."

Ulquiorra began to see red as he chased the laughing ex-captain throughout the palace.

**Prompt - Straight Jacket **

'_Stupid humans. Their existence makes me want to vomit'_ thought Ulquiorra vehemently. He had accidentally sucked a soul while in his gigai with other humans around him, so to save the hassle of breaking out of jail, he had began to talk about Hueco Mundo to make the authorities think he was one of the 'local users'.

But he forgot the factor of how he was currently dressed; clothing that was kind of rich for a poor druggie that would prostitute themselves.

So the authorities took the wrong idea, thinking that Ulquiorra was indeed a drug user, but also a prostitute working under a pimp of some sorts.

Wanting information, they question Ulquiorra for hours, while he babbled on about 'being a faithful follower of Aizen-sama, and how there are more under his command', which just made the situation worse by leading the police to think there were more prostitutes serving underneath 'Aizen, the Pimp', who was currently the leader of an obviously illegal prostitute ring.

This entire, tiresome background story leads to the current situation; Ulquiorra swearing profusely while being tied up in a straight-jacket in a big, padding-clad room in the middle of the night, with the moon shining down into his prison.

Which all of it ironically resembled Orihime's holding place.

He couldn't cero his way out, he couldn't get out of his gigai, he couldn't negotiate, and he couldn't do ANYTHING. All he could do was roll around on the ground and swear his lungs out, and wait for his drug-induced macaroni and cheese midnight snack to arrive.

"Psh. Who would have thought you would be all trussed up like a present for me, eh? What do humans call this? Christmas?" spoke a husky voice from a darkened corner.

Grimmjow submerged from the darkness, smirking like a bull in a china shop that wanted to bear destruction, while he began stalking toward Ulquiorra. Seeing the lust-filled glint in the 6th Espada's eyes, Ulquiorra tried to scoot in the opposite direction, while chanting one word in a breathless, terrified voice.

"Fuck."

**Prompt – Hot Pink**

All of the Espada looked incredulously at their uniforms that had just arrived from the wash, still warm from the dryer.

Each and every single item was a hot pink, bearing no sign of the once pure-white uniforms that once were. And each Espada glared at his or her clothes (Ulquiorra almost set fire to it because of his deadly glare), wishing to catch the culprit.

Except for Syazel, who just giggled and pranced around like a little female monstrosity.

"Uhh…what the fuck happened here?" Grimmjow gritted through his teeth.

"No idea, but I have no clean clothes left, so I'll have to put this on..." sighed Yammi.

Ulquiorra held the offending clothing between his thumb and fore-finger, sniffing in distaste. "I refuse to wear these repulsive pieces of trash. Whoever soiled these uniforms shall be severely punished," he said defiantly.

"But Ulquiorra, what if it was I who made them that colour, would you still wear it if I told you to?" said a voice behind him.

Ulquiorra immediately turned around and bowed deeply. "Forgive me, Aizen-sama. I did not mean to offend you. If it is by your word, I shall wear this with honour."

"Psh, suck-up," muttered Grimmjow in the background, but secretly wondered what Ulquiorra would look like in the colour. How would it contrast with the pale Espada's skin? Plus, the 6th Espada's jacket had shrunk, so it would only mean the pants were too. And he wanted to finally be able to see how round and firm the ass of his sexy emo- superior.

After the Espada left to go change into the rest of their new uniforms, Aizen pulled a red thong out from his pocket.

"Gin, let's keep the true reason to this predicament to ourselves."

Gin smiled weakly, then snatched the thong from Aizen's hand and hastily stuffed the raunchy undergarment into his pocket.


End file.
